Here Kitty Kitty

For all the cat lovers out there, here are just a few of the funny cat pictures in my seemingly endless collection.

 I can haz french fry?  Purty pleeze?

You can't really see me can you?

 Arrgh! 

Look, I got the girl.

I said "NO". 

Sometimes bad shots are funny.

You should see that feather now.

Dear Spammers

"Well done webmaster.  Keep up good work.  I will come back here soon."

I'm sure you will!  I see the evidence every day in my spam folder.  Since I so rudely delete all your efforts to get my attention, here is my response to you.

Dear Spammers,

Image Source: Kachina Daze

Thank you for caring about my health and beauty.  I appreciate you turning me on to sunscreens, lip gloss, and some questionable anti-aging substances that promise to transform me back to my youth.  Which has what to do with "The Value of Comments"?

And what woman wouldn't want some cheap Prada?  Interestingly left on "Don't Let Your Bundle of Joy Cost a Bundle"  Appropriate don't you think?

Thanks also for bombarding me with male-specific drugs and products, just in case I am planning on a secret gender-changing procedure.  This was left on one of my rewritten nursery rhymes "This Little Piggy".  Makes me wonder who the little piggy has been talking to.

To help me pay for all these wonderful products and services, you offer me a special "payday loan".  True poetry to my ears left on "Shades of Summer".  

So thank you for sharing, and for staying on topic. Until next time...

Sincerely,

Roses to Rainbows

Quote of the Week

Springtime is the land awakening.  The March winds are the morning yawn.  -Lewis Grizzard

We have felt the morning yawn many a Spring day.

Bon Jovi -The "Because We Can" Tour

My birthday was a few weeks ago, and this was my present.

By 6:30 p.m. the line stretched from the Time Warner Cable Arena down the sidewalk to the BOA parking garage where we were parked and had u-turned back up the sidewalk.  The forecast was for rain that evening, but mostly it was a cold wind accompanied by an occasional light mist.

The show was supposed to start promptly at 7:30 but, for whatever reason, did not start until 8:10.  As the lights went down and Bon Jovi took the stage, nearly 20,000 screaming fans rose to their feet.  Amid the thunder was heard "Shot through the heart and you're to blame", the chorus of the well-known "You Give Love a Bad Name".

A packed house.

They performed a number of songs from their new album "What About Now".  Among those were "Because We Can" and the title song "What About Now".  They were on stage for nearly 3 hours, and while the sound quality at the Time Warner arena left a lot to be desired, the band put on a fabulous show.

So many lights.

Behind them on stage was a video wall made up of forty 80-foot polycarbonate plastic columns covered in 3d fabric.  Using 10 hi-def video projectors they can create all sorts of amazing backgrounds.  This wall is automated and the columns move up and down independently from one another.

Skyline on the video wall.

There were 20 songs on the set list (click for links to videos), plus another 7 in three encores.

We arrived just in time to get in line, so "dinner" was high-dollar concession food eaten standing up in the corridor.  

After getting out of the parking garage, we went looking for some place that served "real food" at midnight.  After trying at a place that had stopped serving at 12, we were directed to Skyland's, a 24-hour restaurant.  It's not often we finish up our dinner at 1:30 a.m., but hey, a good time was had by all!

Quote of the Week

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.  - Bertrand Russell

Image Source:  Wikipedia

Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell was born into British aristocracy in 1872.  He was a philosopher, logician, mathematician, historian, and social critic.

There are many thing in life we take for granted such as health, family, love, and freedom.  By "hanging a question mark" on these, we are not questioning their existence, but pausing to reflect on their importance in our lives, and what it would mean if we were to lose them.  

Is that all?

Welcome to the 28th and final day of the 30 minus 2 days of writing challenged hosted by Nicky and Mike of "We Work For Cheese".  Please visit Nicky's post for the cheesy wrap up. 

As we listen in we hear two friends dealing with the stress of the challenge.

Hey, you can't wear that, it's too cheesy.  You'll look like a tramp.

Now hold on a minute, I yelled back, and the next thing I knew we were arguing to test the bonds of friendship. 

You'd better put out the light before someone sees you in that.

Well my home is my haven and I'll do what I want.  Lemme see that.  Are you texting someone?  I read French you know.

Fifteen minutes later the mayor pulls up.  I just got back from my road trip and I heard the fighting.  I haven't heard anything like that since the day I met Abraham Lincoln.  I was being charged with an (unintended) misuse of campaign funds.  By the way, do you know where I can get a good blintz?  I'm starving.

Mr. Mayor, would you please shut up or else we'll have to ask you to leave. 

That music is awful, can you please change the station.

Oh, so now you're telling me what to listen to?  

I'm outta here.

Whatever, dude. 

Home at last, he pops open a beer while dialing the pizza shop.  A large everything, please.

As for me, I crash on the couch, flip on the TV and watch the shopping channel.  It's the little things, you know.

They are showing the latest fashion in footwear.  Where's the phone?  Wait, I liked the other shoe better.  Last Train to Clarksville is playing in the background.  

There's a noise coming from the back yard...dogs?   Compulsively, I check the door for the umpteenth time.  I know it's absurd, but I can't help it.  What's that Confusius says "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."

I don't know if that's fact or fiction, or if the outfit is cheesy, or if the shoes will match, and did the mayor ever get his blintz?

This has been a very weird day, and that's why I got drunk.

Eli and the Redhead

Welcome to the 27th day of the 30 minus 2 days of writing challenge hosted by Nicky and Mike of "We Work for Cheese".  Today's prompt is "And That's Why I Got Drunk".  My contribution today is a work of fiction and yet another adventure in the life of Eli.  Now go visit Nicky's post for more excuses.

It was in the wee hours of the morning when Eli stumbled up his steps.  He fumbled with his keys, then dropped them.  They went over the rail and into the bushes.  He stumbled back down the steps, missed the last one and landed in a pile of dog poop.  "Darn dog", he mumbled.  He scrounged for the keys, and jabbed a thorn into his thumb. "Sh..!" 

Eli rights himself, sucks on his injured thumb, and climbs back up the steps.  

Four hours earlier: 

Eli was sitting on his favorite stool at the Come As You Are Saloon.  He liked this place because he knew everyone, and they all knew him.  It reminded him of that old TV show from the 80s.  You know the one - where everyone knows your name.

Anyway, he was sitting there nursing a Stella, when in walked a woman.  Not just any woman, but the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.  She was a redhead, and he'd heard they could be feisty.  She was wearing 5-inch red stilettos and a black dress so tight it looked like she must have been born in it.  Her green eyes sent sparks flying when she looked his way.

Now Eli was an average dude, but he believed he sprang from Royalty.  He knew in his heart his mother was a Princess, and that made him special.

He left his stool and walked over to the gorgeous redhead. 

"What's your name, sweetheart?", he said, trying to be cool.

She just looked at him, then past him at his bar mate, Paul.  He tried again. 

"I said what's your name?  My name's Eli".

"Hmmm, that's nice.  What's his name?" indicating Paul who was watching this play out.  Poor Eli!  All the other women had turned him down.  They said he was just too weird...something about birds and he was constantly talking about his mother.

"Oh, that's Paul.  He's another regular here."

The redhead pushed past him and swayed over to where Paul was sitting.  "Hello there.  It's Paul, right?"

Not about to be left out Eli followed, then much to his embarrassment, he tripped on a loose floor board.  As he gyrated to try and stay upright he grabbed for the table, but got the redhead's...um...posterior instead. 

"Oh, sorry...I never did get your name," as he tried to recover.

As she swung and punched him in the nose, she said, "My. Name. Is. Judy."  Paul is now laughing openly at Eli's tortured look, not to mention his rapidly swelling nose.

"Bartender", called Paul, "another round on me, and an icepack for my friend, here." 

Eli slunk into a back booth, bemoaning his never ending stream of bad luck with women. About that time a man, another stranger to the bar, slid into the seat opposite him.  

"I saw what just happened.  That's a dang shame, too, she's quite a looker.  Had no right to treat you that way.  Women like that think they're too good for the likes of us, eh."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Eli gulped down his beer.  "I gotta hit the john" he said and headed down the hall.  When he got back, the stranger was gone, and so was his jacket.  "Dang, everyone's a thief these days."  Then he remembered, when he had pulled out his ID earlier, he'd stuck his wallet in his jacket.  Now he had a fat nose, no girl and no wallet.  He pulled the last ten bucks out of his jeans and called the bartender.  "Bring me a bottle of bourbon and a glass."

The next thing he knew he was climbing the steps to his house.  "Why?" he wondered as he collapsed on his couch.  

Later, when the fog had lifted, he remembered.  "That was why I got drunk!  It was punch and Judy."

Deal With It

Today is day 26 of the 30 minus 2 days of writing hosted by Nicky and Mike of We Work For Cheese. Today's prompt is "Deal With It". Visit Nicky's post to see how the other poor schmucks in this challenge are dealing with it.

  89% of my readers say your readers need therapy!

  Sorry I missed the meeting, my battery died.

 What do you mean "only two more days"?

Images courtesy of blog-blond.blogspot.com

Fact or Fiction: The History of Blackbeard

Today is day 25 of the 30 minus 2 days of writing hosted by Nicky and Mike of We Work For Cheese. Today's prompt is "Fact or Fiction". Visit Nicky's post to see what the others are claiming as fact or decrying as fiction.

Image Source:  Wikipedia

He was born Edward Teach in Bristol, England, but better known as Blackbeard, the most notorious pirate in all of history.  He was a privateer for Queen Anne, before joining ranks with a crew of pirates which set his life of ruthless piracy and murder in motion.  He captured a French vessel and renamed her Queen Anne's Revenge, although no longer associated with her Majesty.  He became a pirate leader in his own right.

He eventually ended up in the small colonial town of Bath, NC, and lived in fine style after receiving a royal pardon from Governor Charles Eden.  Remember this was before the Revolutionary war and we were still under British rule.  He was welcomed by wealthy planters, and in return, entertained in his own home.  Indeed, piracy was considered a fashionable vice during that era.  He was only a threat at sea, and was, therefore, socially accepted.

Shortly after his arrival, he, the father of 13 children, married his 14th wife, and the Governor performed the ceremony.  As he was already under the Governor's protection, this further suggests that they were friends, and gave credence to the existence of an underground passage way leading well away from the Governor's house.  The tunnel would allow him to come and go without being seen, and also implicated the Governor in taking a share of his loot.

North Carolinians also benefited from Blackbeard, for while he terrorized all at sea, he brought a vast array of goods back to Bath which he sold at reasonable prices. 

Proving just how villainous he was, though, when he wished to court the Governor's daughter, she refused him because he was engaged to another man.  Blackbeard could not stand this rejection and so he murdered her fiance and cut off his hands before disposing of his body at sea.  The girl pined away and died as was fashionable after a broken romance at that time.  

Alas, he soon caught the attention of the wrong man, and the Governor of Virgina, Alexander Spotswood, sent soldiers and sailors to capture Blackbeard.  On November 22, 1718, a group of sailors led by Lieutenant Robert Maynard, captured and killed the infamous pirate.  He was beheaded and his head placed on the mast of Maynard's ship as a warning to other pirates of the fate that awaited them should they continue pirating.

Much of this is documented fact, but since he was the most notorious pirate to sail the high seas, he was also the subject of much speculation and talk became legend.  Which is fact and which is fiction?  You be the judge.

Sources:  Text that was adapted from historian Robert E. Lee's Blackbeard the Pirate: A Reappraisal of His Life and Times.  Winston-Salem:  John Fl Blair, 1974, and Wikipedia.

To Dance Or Not To Dance?

Today is day 24 of the 30 minus 2 days of writing hosted by Nicky and Mike of We Work For Cheese. Today's prompt is "Confucius". Visit Nicky's post to see what else Confucius says.

Ann had wanted to take dance lessons for years, but Carl refused, stating he had two left feet.  That was just an excuse and she knew it, but she had a plan.

Image Source:  wisze's photostream

"Are you ready", he called, "we don't want miss our reservation".  They had these reservations for weeks.  Le Chateau was a hard restaurant to get into, but they wanted to do something special for Carl's birthday.

"I'm almost ready, you go start the car and I'll be right out."  She had to get his birthday card which contained his gift.

They arrived at the restaurant and were seated at corner table next to the window.  The view was gorgeous, overlooking the river, the multi-colored lights on the bridge twinkled, reflecting on the water. 

"A bottle of your best Champagne, please."  Carl beamed.  He had always wanted to say that.  It was his birthday and he was going all out.  "Two steaks, medium rare, too please."  

"Thank you, sir" said the waiter.  "I will be right back with your Champagne".  

"Carl" exclaimed Ann, "Do you have any idea how expensive that is?"  She really didn't care, though, she was happy just watching him enjoy himself.  God knows he works hard enough for it.

"This is fantastic.  This has to be the best meal I've ever had, except for your cooking, of course", Carl said, quickly correcting his faux paux.

"OK," said Ann, smiling "now for the rest of your gift."  She pulled a card from her purse and placed it in front of him.  

"I thought we agreed that this dinner would be my birthday gift."  He opened the card and he grinned from ear to ear.  Inside was a receipt for 6 weeks of fencing lessons.  "Oh Ann, this is so cool.  Thank you!"  Carl had been longing to learn fencing for years, ever since watching sword fight scenes in old movies. "Did you know I love you?" he asked teasingly.

Then he noticed something else in the card.  It was a second receipt, for 6 weeks of dance lessons.  Ann was very clever in her choice of fencing instructors.  This particular one required students to demonstrate dance skills, stating that one can't fence properly with two left feet.  Since Ann wanted to take dance lessons, and Carl wanted to learn fencing this was perfect.  "Still love me?" she teased back.

But seeing the look of dismay on his face, Ann explained their policy.  "Confucius say: Don't give sword to man who can't dance."

Under the Weather, Again

Today is day 23 of the 30 minus 2 days of writing hosted by Nicky and Mike of We Work For Cheese. Today's prompt is "Absurd". Visit Nicky's post to read stories from the other participants.

This is a repost from several years ago, and it seemed fitting for today.  You see I contracted yet another nasty bug, and am somewhat under the weather today, so the mere thought of manipulating words seems positively absurd.

Ever wonder where the expression "under the weather" came from?

With everyone waxing poetic about the beauty of fall, there is also a down side of this lovely season; it heralds the coming of the cold and flu season.  When we fall prey to these nasties, we tend to say that we are "under the weather".  Just this past weekend, I used that phrase myself and began to wonder of its origins.

The phrase "under the weather" dates back to the 1800s.  When sailors would become seasick, they would be sent below deck to get away from the weather, thus literally being "under the weather".  Author Donald Grant Mitchell was the first to use this phrase in his 1850 book Reveries of a Bachelor, and it has since been used for everything from being "ill" or "indisposed" to "financially embarrassed" or "drunk".

Some state that the correct term is "under the weather bow".  The weather bow is the side of the boat being hardest hit by the nasty weather.

Also there is the belief that the weather can affect one's health, so a sick person is deemed to be "under the weather".  From this theory, it stands to reason that the weather can also influence a person's mood, rendering them under the weather as well.  This is documented as SAD, or Seasonal Affective Disorder, which I touched on last fall in my post Just Another Monday.

We all know the steps to staying healthy during the cold and flu season, but here's a recap so we don't have say, "Sorry, I can't.  I'm under the weather."

• Wash your hands frequently with soap and warm water, or use hand sanitizer when you can't wash.
• Do not touch your face - nose, eyes, mouth - that is the germ's way into your system.
• Keep your distance from those are already sick.
• In turn, if you do get sick, stay home away from others.
• And of course, cover your nose and mouth when you sneeze or cough.

Sleepless

 It is day 22 of the 30 minus 2 days of writing hosted by Nicky and Mike of We Work For Cheese. Today's prompt is "Compulsively".  Visit Nicky's post to read stories from the other participants.

Alone in the dark

Compulsively counting sheep

Til dawn breaks the sky

Deadlines

 It is day 21 of the 30 minus 2 days of writing hosted by Nicky and Mike of We Work For Cheese. Today's prompt is "The Last Train".  Visit Nicky's post to see who else is participating in today's train ride.

Jeannie stared at the pile of papers littering her desk. The blank computer screen was agonizingly bright as she rubbed her tired eyes. The deadline loomed, and the old clock the wall went tick, tick, tick... The newspaper was an unforgiving beast and, like the mail, it too has a schedule to maintain.

Image Source:  bbusschots

She pulled a paper from the pile. "Dear Jean, my son is engaged to a lovely girl. She's smart, funny and well educated. The problem is that she is Jewish. Our family is Catholic..." We are okay with it, but her parents are threatening to cut her out of the family if she marries my son. How should we handle this? Signed Distressed in Duluth."

Another one reads "...my husband is planning an surprise 40th birthday party for me. I am not fond of surprise parties. My cousin let it slip the other day, and it is apparently an elaborate affair. I love my husband, and don't want to disappoint him. Should I say anything or try and act surprised and happy? Signed Party Pooper."

Jeannie ponders these and other letters, searching for the right mix for reader interest. She's been a columnist for 10 years, and had noticed that while the times have changed, technology has advanced, and life grows more complicated, people's problems remain the basically the same. Relationships blooming, relationships falling apart, children, bullies, money problems, he-said, she-said, and who's fault it is.

Finally she chooses two letters, one about a young man who finds out his fiance is actually his half sister, and the other about meddling grandparents.  She dishes out sound advice from her many years of experience, insight and imagination. Yes, columnists must be creative and imaginative to keep from giving out cookie-cutter advice. Each response must be fresh and individual.  Some days this is a struggle.  "Have I been doing this too long?" she wonders to herself.

The sun is now setting, glowing golden against the wall behind her. She finally taps out the last words, hits save and sends it to the Lifestyle department. Done!  It is Friday and the weekend has begun. She glances at the clock. If she hurries she'll have enough time to meet Seth at the bar for a drink before catching the last train out of the city. 

The Other Shoe

It is day 20 of the 30 minus 2 days of writing hosted by Nicky and Mike of We Work For Cheese. Today's prompt is "The Other Shoe".  Visit Nicky's post to see what the other participants cobbled up.

Do you ever wonder about the etymology of some of the expressions we use every day without thinking about it?  How and where did they originate, and what they mean?  Let's find out.

Fred lived on the ground floor of an old 1950s walk-up.  Jack, his upstairs neighbor, was a youngish fellow who worked evenings in a textiles factory, and it was late when he stumbled in.  After his shift he would stop at the Raging Bull Saloon for a drink - just to help him sleep, you know.

Image Source:  soil-net.com

As Jack got ready to turn in he sat on the edge of the bed to take off his shoes.  His work shoes were heavy, and as he kicked off the first one, it fell to the the floor with a resounding THUD.

This awakened his slumbering neighbor downstairs.  Even in his groggy state Fred cursed the rude interruption. He lay in the silence - knowing that there was another - waiting for the second thud.  

However in the apartment above, despite the several pints he'd consumed, Jack realized he could be disturbing his downstairs neighbor, and so he eased off the second shoe, and it slipped quietly to the floor.

Fred, still waiting to return to sleep, finally yelled, "For crying out loud, will you drop the other shoe already".

And that is where we get the expression "waiting for the other shoe to drop".

Remember the Little Things

It is day 19 of the 30 minus 2 days of writing hosted by Nicky and Mike of We Work For Cheese. Today's prompt is "Little Things".  Visit Nicky's post for a little more of this and that.

Unlike the big events in our lives, your sweet 16 birthday, first job, once in a lifetime vacation, or the new sports car, it is the little things that add up to form our lives.

So revel in a beautiful sunset with someone you love, or laugh or cry at a good movie.  Savor the taste of ice cream on a hot summer day, or a steaming cup of coffee to ward off the cold.  Watch a butterfly gathering nectar from a flower or a puppy frolicking in the grass.  These are the moments that make up our lives. 

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. - Robert Brault

Quote of the Week

It is day 18 of the 30 minus 2 days of writing hosted by Nicky and Mike of We Work For Cheese.  Today's prompt is "Home at Last".  Visit Nicky's post for more homeward bound entries.
 
Home is all the things you know by name: a family of dishes, books, and clothes that waits for you to choose among them every day. We're ready for you is what the chorus in your house sings. Your fingerprints are grinning on their faces.- Michael J. Rosen

For most of us, no matter how grand the vacation, or exotic the location, there really is no place like home.

About 10 years ago, we were on our way home from our annual Florida vacation.  We left the beach a little before 9 a.m., and after a few stops, crossed the Savannah River just before 5:00.  Dinner was ribs and oysters at a lakefront restaurant, then we continued driving until 10 p.m.  We stopped for the night in Columbia, SC, about 3 hours from home.  Two bad hotel rooms later, we were on the road again.  At 2 a.m.  we were home at last!

All About Dood

It is day 17 of the 30 minus 2 days of writing hosted by Nicky and Mike of We Work For Cheese.  Today's prompt is "Whatever, Dude".  Visit Nicky's post for more entries from those still able to string two words together.

Our black and white cat's official name of record is R.P., but I started calling him Doodle, which eventually got shortened to Dood.  Rosie usually takes center stage, so I thought this would be a good time to let Dood shine a bit.  He is such a little dude and really does love his Rose buddy.

I'm feeling a little stressed out.

I don't get no respect.

This is my spot in the sun.

Can you see me now?

Are you talking to us?   Whatever, dude!

A Musical Birthday

It is day 16 of the 30 minus 2 days of writing hosted by Nicky and Mike of We Work For Cheese.  Today's prompt is "Music".  Visit Nicky's post for more musical entries from those still able to string two words together.

Music is a broad topic and covers a lot of territory.  I don't have one favorite type of music, nor one favorite song, genre or band.  But for today's prompt I chose Bon Jovi.  For over ten years now I've been a fan, from the first time I heard "Thank You For Loving Me", to their latest single "Because We Can".   

So for my birthday this year we have tickets to a show in the "Because We Can" Tour next month.  This will be our second Bon Jovi concert.  

"Because We Can"

Or Else

It is day 15 of the 30 minus 2 days of writing hosted by Nicky and Mike of We Work For Cheese.  Today's prompt is "Or Else".  Visit Nicky's post to see what else is going on.  This is also posted for Friday Flash 55.

Image Source:  toupeira.deviantart.com

We had been warned over and over that we should straighten up or else, but those were just words.

So the moment that glass broke, our fate was sealed.  Mother Superior rapped her ruler on the desk as we stood silent before her.

I guess now we will find out just what "or else" meant.

Edit: For story background, click on the link above.

Is it a Blintz or a Crepe?

It is day 14 of the 30 minus 2 days of writing hosted by Nicky and Mike of We Work For Cheese. Today's prompt is "Where can I find a good blintz". Visit Nicky's post to see who's still hanging in, and where they go for a blintz.

This is the Sweet Sage Cafe in North Reddington Beach, FL.  We found this place last fall, and from the road it looks like a tiny little place, but there's plenty of seating inside plus a gift shop chock full of souvenirs, jewelry and pretty knickknacks.

The patio is even more quaint with signs, decorations and figurines everywhere.  They are open for breakfast, brunch and lunch, and the food is very good.

I'd never had crepes before.  I know you're asking how could anyone not have had crepes.  I like to try new things, especially while I'm on vacation, so when I spotted them on the menu I jumped at the opportunity.  I chose the banana & coconut, and they were warm with creamy filling and tasty toppings.  Hubby and I split this for breakfast.

Now from what I've read there is very little difference between crepes and blintzes.  However, since these are crepes, I can't tell you where to get a good blintz.  But I can tell you that I thoroughly enjoyed my first crepes, and highly recommend them, and the Sweet Sage Cafe.  It would be a lovely place for a Valentine's Day Brunch...if it just weren't so far away.