Nursery Rhyme Redo: One Potato, Two Potato

Image Source: Wikipedia

One potato, two potato

Red potato, blue potato

Three potato, four potato

Got to have more potato

Five potato, six potato

This gal really loves potatoes

Nursery Rhyme Redo: This Little Piggy

Image Source: captivatedbymandie.com

One little piggy went to market
Two little piggies went to Rome
Three little piggies had a good time
All the little piggies got stoned
But not one little piggy  
followed Mary home
Oh wait...that's another story.
 

Nursery Rhyme Redo: This Old Man

Image Source:  Imelda's Photostream

This old man, he played dumb

He played blackjack for my rum

So what the heck, stack the deck

And give the man a loan

This old man is in the zone

There are more verses with different variations.  The origin is uncertain, with the first recorded version in  Anne Gilchrist's Journal of the English Folk Dance and Song Society (1937).

Nursery Rhyme Redo: Patty Cake Patty Cake

Image Source: FreeFoto.com

Patty cake, patty cake bakers man

Bake me a cake in a jelly roll pan

Patty cake, patty cake bakers wife

Lived in the bakery all her life

Patty cake, patty cake bakers girl

Toss the dough and give it a whirl

Patty cake, patty cake bakers son

Bakes up a real fine honey bun

Posted for dVerse Poetry.

Nursery Rhyme Redo: It's Raining, It's Pouring

It's raining, it's pouring

And the cat is snoring

Upon the pillow beside my head

And there he will be until morning

This seems quite appropriate considering the rainy day here.

Posted for dVerse poetry.

Nursery Rhyme Redo: Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater

Image Source: Emma Paperclip

Peter Peter pumpkin eater

Had a wife who was a cheater

He caught her in a big fat lie

And baked her in a pumpkin pie

Posted for dVerse Poetry.

Nursery Rhyme Redo: Jack and Jill

Image Source: Wikipedia

 

Jack and Jill took some pills
They got from their drug dealer
Jack fell down upon the ground
And Jill called an herbal healer

Posted for dverse poetry.

Nursery Rhyme Redo: Old Mother Hubbard

Old Mother Hubbard

Had ants in her cupboard

So she couldn't take out a loan

But she posed with such flair

That the banker did stare

And tossed her poor dog a bone

I'll bet she didn't have ants like these!

Nursery Rhyme Redo: Humpty Dumpty

Image source:  merlinprincesse's photostream

Humpty Dumpty was fat and grumpy
And off of the wall he fell
He landed astride a nobleman's horse
Who tossed him into the well

Nursery Rhyme Redo: Birds of a Feather

Pink Flamingo at the Como Zoo

Birds of a feather dressed in leather 

Danced with the pigs in a line 

The rats and mice held their own 

And formed a chorus line

For those of you (like me) not familiar with the original verse, this is the original "birds of a feather".

Birds of a feather flock together

And so will pigs and swine

Rats and mice will have their choice

And so will I have mine

Nursery Rhyme Redo: Hey Diddle Diddle

Image source: Curt Merrill

Hey diddle diddle the cat played the fiddle 

and the cow slept in until noon

The little dog did laugh and cavort 

and then he began to croon

Nursery Rhyme Redo: Little Jack Horner

Little Jack Horner - All Grown Up

Image Source: Vistavision

Little Jack Horner alone in the corner
Regretting his recent lie
He tippled his rum - said what have I done
I'll be in this mess til I die

Nursery Rhyme Redo: Little Miss Muffet

Image source:  smallacornsnz.blogspot.com

Little Miss Muffet
Collapsed on her tuffet
She hated curds and whey
When the little ol' spider
Sat down beside her
She gave her curds away.

Nursery Rhyme Redo: Little Bo Peep

 Little Bo Peep had too many sheep
And the sheriff came to impound them
He locked them away for a year and a day
And dared Bo Peep to find them

Late night produces some strange thoughts, and so this is the first installment of my rewritten nursery rhymes.